Eating with children

Eating with children

Eating with children is not easy. Often, they don't finish their plate, waste a lot, complain about not liking it or not wanting to leave the table. This blog will share some tips on the best way to manage children at the table.

Tip 1: Less appetite is possible

Make sure the expectations you have of your child are realistic. Preschoolers often have trouble sitting still for long periods. They are easily distracted. In addition, they quickly become restless and busy if they think the meal is taking too long or is boring for them. Some things they won't like (yet). As long as you offer them a varied diet, there is no need to force them to eat anything. All children have days when they are less hungry.

Tip 2: Eat at fixed times

It is best to have a meal three times a day and also have a snack at fixed times in the morning and afternoon. Give your child a portion that you know he can eat. Ask your child to ask for more when he has eaten everything. Explain to your child that he can only eat at these times and that he is not allowed to have snacks in between. It may be helpful to determine a fixed time for the duration of the meal. Clearly explain to your child how long the meal will last. Often 20 to 30 minutes is sufficient. It may be helpful to use a (cooking) timer for this.

Tip 3: Explain the rules of the table

Prepare your child for dinner so they have time to finish what they're doing. Tell them the rules at the table, keeping it to 2 or 3 lines. When stating the rules, try to say what your child is allowed to do rather than what they're not allowed to do. For example, 'stay seated until you can leave the table', 'eat with a spoon or fork', or 'eat with your mouth closed before speaking'. You can choose to let your child learn to name the rules themselves over time. Decide in advance how you will react to undesirable behavior. Tell your child what will happen if they don't follow the rules.

Tip 4: Reward your child

If your child follows the rules well, you may want to reward them more for it. Tell your child what the reward is if they follow the rules while eating. For example: special drinks or food, a game after dinner, or an extra story before going to sleep.

Tip 5: At the table when the dishes are ready

Make sure everything you need is ready before telling your child they can sit at the table. This can avoid unnecessary waiting. Place your child in their seat when dinner is ready. Put toys or other distracting objects out of sight. For example, turn off the television.

Tip 6: ask and say

Congratulate your child when they eat neatly and follow the rules. Encourage your child to only speak when their mouth is empty. Try starting a conversation, for example, by asking them about their day. You can also share something about your day. This way, the focus isn't so much on eating a lot or not, but rather on having a good time together.

Tip 7: Ignore small problems

It is best to 'ignore' minor problems such as whining, moaning, procrastinating or playing with food. Eat quietly and don't look at your child. Continue like this until the problematic behavior stops. For example, involve him in the conversation again. Prepare for the behavior to often get worse when you start ignoring it. If you first ignore the behavior for a while and then react, your child will learn that he must continue. Of course, there are also behaviors that are difficult to ignore, such as leaving the table several times to play with siblings or throwing toys. If this happens, tell your child to stop doing that immediately and tell him what to do.

Tip 8: Stop unwanted behavior

Put your child aside if he does not do what you ask him to do or no longer respects the rules. Tell your child what is wrong and what the consequences are. Place your child near you, on a chair. Tell your child that he must remain silent for 2 minutes before he can leave the seat. When you are seated, do not pay attention to your child. If your child cannot sit still, use the time-out method. This means that you remove your child from the situation where the problem occurred. The goal is to help your child calm down again. Take your child to a place or room without interest and tell him to be quiet for 2 minutes. Congratulate your child when he behaves well. You may have to repeat the sitting position or take a break several times before the undesirable behavior stops.

Tip #9: Give compliments after the meal

The meal will be finished in about 20 or 30 minutes, or sooner if everyone has finished eating. Remove the plates from the table, even if your child has not yet finished eating. After eating, tell your child what you thought went well during the meal. Congratulate your child and give them the reward you agreed on for the moment. Do not feed again until the next meal. Or briefly describe the rule that your child forgot and set a goal for next time. For example: "Tomorrow we will try again to stay at the table."